It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, whether blog, poem, or story, so rather than have a point to get across, this blog post is an exercise in writing. And forgive me; my wit and writing are very out of shape, so to speak.
The clouds caught my attention over and over again today. This morning a cloud alit on Denton! As I drove to work, everything looked different because of the fog. I’m so glad we see fog sometimes. Without it, how would I ever be able to imagine what the inside of a cloud looks like? It gave me a few thoughts for my cloud story. Hopefully someday I’ll actually work on that one again (when is “someday”, by the way? I’ve been waiting for someday to come for a long time). When I left work this afternoon, the fog had lifted. The clouds were high and lofty again, and though it was one big blanket of cloud cover, the twists and striations throughout the sky struck me as very Dali. The Painter of the skies didn’t spare a drop creativity in Denton today.
At Panera for lunch, I met a grandfatherly old man. I don’t know if he’s really a grandfather, but he seemed like he’d be a good one. We first spoke when I overheard him ask an employee if there was an Oshman’s in Denton. Being a near-native Dentonite, I remembered the Oshman’s in the Denton Triangle Mall, and could tell him about how they were replaced by the Sports Authority here in town. We kept talking when I commented on his letter jacket that read Cardinals on the back. Turned out he loves the St Louis Cardinals (Rangers are his second favorite team, he told me, after I told him I like the Cards second best to the Rangers). He’s from Springfield, MO, and he told me a few baseball stories from when he was younger. He’s seen games at the original Sportsman’s Park in St. Louis, the first Busch Stadium, and the current Busch Stadium. When he was 17, he asked St. Louis catcher Joe Garagiola for an autograph, and he was told “Get lost, kid!” I got home and promptly looked up Mr. Garagiola. Turns out he left the Cardinals in 1951—which means my new friend was 17 over 60 years ago! He also met Stan Musial sometime in his many years. And he’s kept a good memory so he could tell him stories. I’ve never heard old baseball stories from someone who actually met some of the players. Baseball really is magical. Did anyone else ever read the book Elmer and the Chickens vs. the Big League? My brother had that book when we were kids. I probably haven’t thought about in ten years, and all of a sudden as I write, it’s on my mind. It was a good one. I’ll be on a mission to track it down, now.
I miss writing, but I have no motivation. Even now, I’m writing a blog post instead of working on my story. It’s hard to put effort into it, not knowing if anyone will ever read it. Will anyone even want to read it? Will it even be worth reading? Basically, without regular accountability, I don’t write. Sad, but true. Excuses are too easy to find. Too many distractions, not enough time, nothing to say, I’m hungry, I want coffee, I should do some cleaning, I haven’t checked Facebook in five whole minutes, and my hand hurts. Harumph. Oh, and I’m afraid and incredibly insecure about my words. I like what I write when I write it… and then two hours later, I’m embarrassed and want to delete it and pray no one has read it yet. I haven’t yet figured out how not to care about what you, the reader, thinks.
For that reason, this blog is going to serve that purpose. I’ll write when I find the time, the inspiration, and the gumption, and I’m resolving not to unpublish.